Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
