I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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