I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
