My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
