peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Let's get the cat blown out
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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