somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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