He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
