That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
