if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
