whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
