It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
