Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
