ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
