Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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