It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
