Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize