playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
why do cheetos always look like penises
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize