i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
