I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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