her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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