I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Rumble strips road head = magical
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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