Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
