are you so shy because you have an std?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
