I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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