Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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