Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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