i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
