Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
