1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I can tuck mytits in my pants
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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