WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
