Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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