We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
