but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
