On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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