you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
