Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize