so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
