Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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