It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
