i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
