That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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