How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
