Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
