His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize