Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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