Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
