Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
