dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
