You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
