The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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