and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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