I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Drake has all the answers
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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