You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
