his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize