Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want a musical about memes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
