Don't you send me to vm
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
