So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
