Who wears a wallet chain?!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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